Here dullness is omnipresent — it’s there in the tedious heist, in the acting, in the characters that actors are supposed to pose as, in the film’s pace and especially in the desi-fication of the heist which acquires a revenge-for-daddy’s-death goal to be attempted by do-gooder but duffer chors..

It was about what Mr Kashyap can get away with and that indulgence is really annoying. A tall order!6. He likes to hop from one country to another — Afghanistan, Russia, Riga, Somalia, Pakistan — to bash up the bad guys and try to locate a deadly bomb which is meant for India. was expecting us to get excited about Mithun and Ranjeeta being back together on screen after decades.

Usually I have really low expectations of Vikram Bhatt, and yet he managed to shock me with this punar janam-revenge torture. That the film is directed by Aanandbalraj (one word), the guy who played Debu in the Anil Kapoor-Madhuri Dixit starrer Ram Lakhan, and whose only memorable line in the film was, "India is great" is warning enough. They tried to weave some nonsensical story about an undercover cop using a porn star to get to a don with putrid dialogues that included the words sitaron and maang. Others kill all future prospects in one go.. Perhaps looking for a place to hide and wait for this calamity to pass. It’s an imbecility. The original story was heart-warming — about an ageing man who loses his beloved wife to alzheimer’s everyday. DepartmentThe experience of watching Department is akin to being dragged by one ankle through the mucky and nauseating innards of Ram Gopal Varma. Agent VinodAgent Vinod is a film about a vaulting spy on a mission to save Bharat Mata, except that this son of India is an idiot. It takes a special kind of fuzzy love for oneself to make a film that is meant only to delight and impress the director and the Gangs of Anurag Kashyap. So they signed her and created a story around her two titties and two titty-crazy men. It’s just a camera following several idiots doing their special idiotic things around Veena Malik and a suitcase full of money. It’s like a mid-life crisis, like going back to an old lover for some self-love. 4. and some of the worst actors in the history of B-grade cinema.

That Kashyap is a master filmmaker is apparent in some almost casual strokes of brilliance in GoW. It was anti-climatic... But only some, like Sridevi, do it sensibly. His Godfather-goes-to-Dhanbad saga has some good performances, interesting characters and scenes, but nothing makes up for the fact that Gangs of Wasseypur is not operatic, it’s soporific. Director Ashu Trikha has copied the Hollywood film scene by scene, ventriloquising lines and expressions, thus crushing any soul or sense the film may have had. 3. That’s a stretch, even for Bollywood. 5. But that’s not the point of this film. And it doesn't help that throughout the film, the camera skitters about, trying to creep up someone’s pyjama, jeans, lungi. In this cop-goonda absurdity which is very loosely based on Infernal Affairs, women suck on kulfi and prance around in panties while men are either shooting or getting shot. Zindagi Tere NaamZindagi Tere Naam is not inspired by The Notebook. That this nonsense was directed by Gaddaar Sriram Raghavan was doubly depressing.7. But Mr Bhandarkar has the uncanny ability to turn whatever he touches tacky, including his incessant moralising. GoW 1& 2 was never about its story or its telling. 8.. It matched mine.

This required Ms Leone to do more than just pant and ride men, and the men to more than just graze. Gangs of WasseypurThe world is divided between people who loved Gangs of Wasseypur 1&2 and those who hated it. Huh 10. Obviously upset that he had a mother of two for a heroine, his film sulks, throughout, in 3D. In various get-ups, one janam after another, it doesn’t drop the sulking.9. Dangerous IshqqFormer female film stars, when they get bored playing ghar-ghar, decide to return to the celluloid.. Daal Mein Kuch. After part 1, I sat twiddling my thumbs on the fence, wondering, waiting But when part 2 arrived, after a gap of seven weeks, my boredom tipped me on the side of haters. Gary Gary’s 2003 The Italian Job, is strictly for the dim-witted. The gaps in this one long chase to get to a bomb are filled by such poppycock that I can only quote what someone on Twitter said very succinctly: "Agent Vinod should be called Travel Agent Vinod".He managed to get Bollywood’s Custom Brass Letters Signs Manufacturers most glamorous star and Kareena looked really good. The Bhatts should have kept the film raunchy, semi-pornographic even. They didn’t. Mein kahan jaaon " Bhaad mein, I’d say. But here we go into flashback, to Chandigarh, where we meet young, annoying lovers. Jism 2Jism 2 is the story of the opportunistic Bhatts — father Mahesh and daughter Pooja — who saw money in the bank the moment they spotted angel-face desi porn star Sunny Leone on Bigg Boss. PlayersAbbas-Mastan’s retelling of F. Karisma Kapoor, apart from being entombed in a foolish fancy-dress fantasy with kilos of makeup, scarves and jackets, skulks through this film with one expression: harried. The other warning is what Ms Malik repeatedly says in this film: "Uff! Ek taraf bhoot, doosri taraf goonde log. The highlight of the film was a chase that involved three adorable Mini Coopers trying to dodge hovering helicopters. All the action, all the gore, the abuses, jokes and caricature characters stand apart and alone, making little sense. Everyone does it.Daal Mein Kuch Kaala Hai! cannot be called a film. This thing doesn’t have a single coherent thought, forget a full story. Zindagi

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